THE EXPOSURE Jameslantern40.WordPress.com
St.joseph nursery school, which was sponsored by a catholic church and was situated in Nairobi eastlands buruburu Phase One estate. It wasn’t far from where we lived, about 800 metres from our House which was house no.280 big numbers.
Sometimes to move forward you have to move backwards.What were the fond memories of the nursery school?the food,the wetting the mattress where we took a nap (i was only four) .Funny,my mum took me to my first day of nursery school,and not my dad. It’s not a coinscidence,but a pattern setting itself up early in my life,the abandonment of a father figure, a mentor .This will play out in future as you will see.
The leading disappointments in my future life is a result of this negligence by my natural father.Being rejected, I looked for approval in all the wrong places,the church to be precise.But God allowed it to happen so that in like manner He may bring glory to His name.
Back to the story. Istill remember the uniform color in nursery school, the green apron stitched with our names. I was a lefty in terms of writing .I emphasise terms because I’m not a pure breed concerning which hand bekons the pen. I can write with both hands.In my early years i wrote with my left hand and later on i switched due eligibility concerns.
Going to that school worked for my good, because I got to see the catholic world though I was not a member.They are really religious.
The crucifix ,a major emblem of the catholic denomination ,was a mysterious thing.I once knelt before one and prayed to an un inanimate image of jesus,though Jesus is in heaven, he has risen.Yet these people pray to it ,as if He is still stuck at the cross.
Hence the mystery of that religion to an outsider, for me was demystified.Yap !,i thank God for the exposure.The school had plenty of stories for us kids,like Jack and the bean stalk,little red riding hood and so on.For me stories were an escape to an imaginary world. That’s where my imagination as a writer was being prepared.
But as I got older, that part of me was being killed by low self esteem.My dad’s neglegence and love doses in proportion to my academic performance did me in.I looked to entertainment to weather it down.Grown up figures who believed in make belief were attached to my life in form of entertainers(musicians and actors)which were a major influence.
The law is of works thus i couldn’t walk by faith, i couldn’ t inherit God’s promises.Church life for me was always a constant nudge in my butt that i’m not good enough.This reduced to getting the crumbs that fell from the master’s(Bishop’s)table.
By His grace of God was faithful,even then.I was creative occassionaly drew pictures in my head,as teachers told stories in class, call it day dreaming. Amazingly the year 2000, a nursery school teacher could still remember me,thirteen years later,she was my class teacher . I was fascinated by comics programmes and books growing up .When i was twelve ,at one time i went to my room and tried to fly after watching a warner episode series of loise and clerk the new adventures of superman.
In primary school still it was my mum who took me there ,i remember sitting next to a girl called Mary in standard two equivalent of second grade.For some reason ,I felt lucky to sit next to this brown girl,a key coordinate figure at that stage of my life She had a brown skin tone just like my sister.
People make coordinates in my life.In High school ,i remember washing the toilet, a duty i was given by the school. A servitude task .It detoxed me from pride and my background .I was in form one then equivalent of 9th grade.The early morning scent of upcountry air ruled as it was a rural setting.I felt very abandoned in that boarding school. I think it was for the very fact again my father who took me to school but my uncle .This wasn’t the school i was called either but a bribe school.I was called to a day school but i was taken to a boarding school.
There is a reason i’m always hinting at my absentees father’s rejection as the main source of my problems but where sin abound grace did abound much more.
As people turn to vices to escape rejection, i found myself being drawn to the creator.College life i struggled, i ,,,,,