But why? Why did i have to go through what i went through? you have no idea how much I’m tested in that question.But the truth is, it bothers me when my mind is set in in the things of this world,but when i focus on jesus it is a none issue.

But in another case, i have recieved glory through my suffering as stated in romans.God shows mercy to the gentiles to make Israel jealous.For more are children of the barren woman than the children of the married.

Thus the hardening of their hearts made a way for God to show me mercy,and be indebted to Him by default leading them to jealousy I’m reffering to those who seek to be justified by the law.Knowing Jesus is a matter of faith nothing more or less. Sometimes i can’t boast of the grace i walk in, for the simple reason it’s undeserved,unearned unmerritted favor. Yet He says in His word” can the potter say to the clay why have you made me thus?,”To some he made vessels of honor and some to dishonor,some for noble some for common use.

To be honest ,my story is simple ,it’s the story of the Samaritan woman who went to draw water during noon day, when her haters were faraway from earshot. But to make you fully aware of what i battled ,it’s called religion or legalism.

Religion is what you do to earn browny points with God. It had a place in the old covenant ,a dispensation, a truth,a reality for that time,it’s an old truth.Things like sowing, praying at the altar, honoring the man of God to the utternost in a fearful reverence way.Something I witnessed these things in the Nairobi church i was in.

What is legalism in the church today?It is a system of man made rules,a system of rewarding created by man,which was absolutely missing from the early church. It is a system created by cronies to protect their selfrighteousness and also to keep others as babes so they can be beggars and not lenders.

I saw this for myself with my own eyes ,sheep being milk off their fur by their shepherds.I thought i was an arnomally as i could see right through that. Here the leaders qualify and disqualify blessings from fellow believers under them, purely based on man’s understanding .

It’s carnal,Paul admonished the church, that he chose to know no one after the flesh and also not showed no favorism. In the old covenant, when David was to be crowned king, his father didn’t call him out from the field, where he was looking after his father’s sheep,surely he doesn’t look like a king,he is younger.

So Jesse brought out his more favorable sons. But the truth is that,that dispensation has passed.It’s not relevant now, for Christ fulfilled what we couldn’t do, as stated in romans 8. It’s only when prophet Samuel insisted to Jesse, David’ s father, if he had another son, did David’s father call him out from the field.

Salvation by works have seen couples battling it out, arms amputated ,now it is at an all time high ,influenced by the demonic .For the father of lies has capitalised on this default lifestyle proud christ proffesors have taken. The funny thing is that legalists don’t keep the whole law themselves, but show favorism.

That’s why even God warns to vomit them out. Hence that is how the church was when it came to giving and serving, the lesser son is called for minial jobs,but when it come to more glorious roles, it is reserved for those who have an outwardly good appearance. This too i saw with my own eyes .That if you do not have a job or a degree to boast about, boasting basically, if you lacked it, you were and still are disqualified. They won’t say it but you will get it by their attitude towards you.

That is why I was never called for to lead departmental prayers by leaders concerned.This snag was broken years later by an undiscerning leader (this despite my consistency) .But my presence was needed for washing the church.The undiscerning leader gave me a chance .

We bonded and by the time he realised my status ,our friendship and callings transcended bias (i think he secretly was praying for me ). That is what i observed whenever i tried to seek ministerial mentorship,it was a closed door but when odd meetings as stated above comes, I was expected. This indirectly built resentment towards me by fellow believers ushered by the leadership towards me.